Tuesday, 24 November 2015


Let me tell you a true story! Sometimes back, I had a burning desire to create a website. I had never done it before, but I just wanted to create one - like most of my friends and associates did. Moreover, it was to my further surprise to see some of them operating with more than one website…why not me, was my golden wonder!

Suddenly, I began going over mountains trying to read every detail I found in the internet on how to create a website. Tedious it was though; I went site after site, day by day. Finally, I came to learn that it required at least some money to create a website in terms of web-hosting and all that…which I didn’t have at the time. Good news to myself, I realized it didn’t cost a dime to create a blog instead, but only my effort.

So, my last resort was to try my hand on blogging, at least to begin with. Having no clue on how to create a blog though; I went on with my internet research on the same subject. Lastly, I came across an idea that triggered the birth of my first blog. The idea had it that,   “The best way to learn how to blog is by actually creating a blog.” Vrrrrrruuuuu…! Suddenly, everything began moving! That idea propelled me to create my first blog,   “What’s Love?!” available at http://bahathi.blogspot.com.

I did create it using Blogger.com. Simpler than ABC, the title touches mostly on human feelings of love. In every human chest, there beats a heart…love, love, love…seventy two beats per minute. Every creature shows love at some point in life. All humankind the world over: young and old; male and female; black, white and colored have something particular to say about love. I created this blog to serve as a reminder and a wake-up call to all mankind to keep it love and that, love shall conquer all, as the saying goes…

Therefore, in that golden blog, “What’s Love?!” I hint on the various definitions and highlights of love as a whole. I also include love quotes from men of present and olden days. I also touch on any moments of love that is or was shown or experienced by any living creature. Again, highlight on any incident, for instance, of love turning sour, or something of the sort. This love blog smells love all through…For any comment, meet me there…What’s Love?! At http://bahathi.blogspot.com.

Tuesday, 30 December 2014


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Saturday, 20 December 2014


Love. We need it from the moment we are born to thrive. We might survive but we do not thrive without abundant love. No wonder we work so hard to get it. No wonder we try to be perfect and do everything right to have control over getting love. No wonder we get anxious, angry or depressed when we do not get the love we need. No wonder we use numerous substance and process addictions to numb the pain when we feel alone and unloved: True or False?

When we were little, our parents or other caregivers needed to be our source of love. We were too young to access the love we needed by ourselves. Our parents were like God they were our source of life and love.

As we grew older, we were supposed to shift our focus from getting love from our parents to receiving the love that is God. Yet, because most of our parents didn’t know how to do this for themselves, many of us never learned to access the love that is infinite and always available to us.

As adults most people are stuck in trying to get love and avoid pain.

Do you try to get love by giving yourself up to others, hoping they will give you the love you need? Are you giving to get?

Do you try to get others to love you through intimidation and guilt? Do you get angry, manipulative, or blaming to try to get others to give themselves up and give you what you want?

Do you shut down and numb out with food, alcohol, drugs, TV, gambling, sex, work, and so on, to avoid the pain of loneliness and aloneness? Do you use addictions to avoid the pain of not feeling loved?

Are you trying to make people, substances, things or activities your source of love?
There is only one true Source of love. The Source of love is the universe we live in. The Source of love is whatever is your concept of God/Spirit. God is Love, and that love is always around us and within us, but you will feel it only when your heart is open to learning about loving yourself.

As long as you are trying to get love from others and avoid pain with your addictions, your heart is closed and you cannot feel the love that is always here for you. Only when you shift your attention from getting love and avoiding pain, to loving yourself and sharing your love with others, will you stop feeling so empty, alone and lonely. Only when you stop making people, things, activities and substances your source and turn to Spirit as your Source will you feel the fullness of love within.

The key to this shift is to stop making others and addictions responsible for your feelings and decide to take full, 100% responsibility for your own feelings of joy and wellbeing. When your intent shifts to learning about taking loving action for yourself, you will learn how to fill yourself with love from your Source and share that love with others.

Sharing love is totally different from giving to get love. Sharing love comes from a full place within, a place that does not need anything back from another person. When we learn to take loving action in our own behalf, we get so filled with love that it just overflows. When this is the case, we receive great joy in sharing our love. We no longer try to be the source of love for others, nor do we make others our source of love.

Today, focus on opening to learning about what is in your highest good. Ask the question throughout the day:  What is in my highest good right now? As answers pop into your mind, take the loving action on your own behalf. Then notice how peaceful and fulfilled you’ll feel, and how good it feels to share your love and joy with others.



Love has many facets. Love is still a mystery and every lover has his/her own story about love. What is mature love and what type is immature. Let us find out.

In immature love it is said that the person who falls in love has low self-respect. He/she has little self-confidence and finds a lover to see all the qualities that he/she misses in themselves. The person does not love himself/herself, but loves the partner with great fervor. This is called immature love.

Mature love – If a person has very high self-respect and great self-confidence, he/she is supposed to be in mature love. This is called mature love because it is expected that such persons know what they are doing? They know why they love a particular person and what they expect from the love.

In my opinion both these kids of love may fail equally badly or survive against all the odds, because while talking of love, we have to consider the partner also. I may be a very self respecting person and may have fallen in love after lot of deliberation. That does not matter to my partner who may react in different fashion as times passes. My success or failure does not depend only on me, but also my partner.

Love defies all analysis. Why two persons fall in attraction and become inseparable is a mystery. Very contrasting personalities may love each other for all the life and very similar partner may fall out of love in a short time. It is the very nature of love that makes it a subject of so much investigation .


Many people are able to get into relationships. And many are able to attract partners who are suitable for them, physically and mentally. But for many people, their relationships do not last much more than 3 months! This is a shocking truth of the dating world. Why does this happen? Why can’t we make it last? I’ll give you three reasons:

1. Treating a Relationship as a Transaction

You cannot be calculative when it comes to love. Counting who did what for whom leads to the death of generosity. Theoretically speaking, there’s a hidden universal law guiding human relations, which is, “If you stop giving, you stop getting.” And if that’s the way the law is, them we must not stop giving or else the relationship will die. So if you are calculative, you will count to a point where you will say, “Yep, that’s enough. I’ve given my fair share. Now it’s your turn.” But your partner may not feel it’s their turn yet. So don’t calculate. Keep giving generously and you partner will return your love when the time is right.

2. Not Being Patient or Sensitive Enough

Relationships are delicate because human emotions are delicate. You can bring the strongest relationship to its knees with a single quarrel. You don’t even need to do it in person; over the telephone will do. You can end a good relationship with words that hurt, no meeting needed. So if you treasure your relationship, never blow your top. Your partner deserves your best behaviour. And the more love you invest in them, the more they will love you for it.

3. Idealistic Demands

Some people are more idealistic than others. They have a vision in their minds of how they want their ideal partner to be – and they will not compromise. Usually in life, the partners we end up with do not meet our original criteria. Maybe she doesn’t have the perfect figure or maybe he’s not exactly Prince Charming. But in the end we still choose this person. Why so? It’s because our criteria have changed. By living long enough, you see different kinds of people. And you will start editing your criteria of what you want in a partner, circling those qualities which are important, and mentally scratching out those which are not. So if a person has a list of rigid, uncompromising qualities that they follow to the dot, they might just kick out the partner that was right for them.

If it were so easy to make a relationship last, our divorce rates would be lower. Even if people do not fall into the three traps listed above, there are other problems such as the possibility of meeting someone more attractive (high chance). What should you do in such a case? Here’s a principle to guide you:

“A great love relationship is not something you find, but something you build and commit yourself to.”

There are tons of beautiful people in the world and many who are physically more attractive than your partner. To some people, the grass is always greener on the other side. So what do they do? They hop over to the neighbour’s lawn! But then the lawn doesn’t seem so green anymore because they see the weeds of the person’s personality. But it looks like there’s a greener lawn next door, so they hop again! They do their partner hopping, dating and exchanging in search of the greenest lawn, but they’ll never find it because a beautiful relationship, like a beautiful garden, must be tended to and cared for. You can have ‘happily forever after’ with the partner you choose, but you must commit yourself to it. Without commitment, nothing lasts.

To sustain love, two people have to choose each other. If either partner defaults or is unsure, the whole relationship falls apart. It doesn’t matter how much you love the other person, if they do not return your love. This reminds me of those Chinese drama serials where they are fond of saying, “Ai Qing Shi Bu Neng Mian Qiang De” – translated it means ‘you can’t force love’. And this will be the time when the male suitor will grip his head and cry, “Why! Why?!!” Then he has no alternative, but to drown his sorrows in drink, and maybe get knocked down by a truck. Then the girl will visit him in hospital, where with his dying breath he whispers his last words of undying love… then he dies.

An Uncommitted Partner

Sometimes you might find that although you are ready to commit, your partner doesn’t want to settle. They may be on the lookout for the ideal person who can fulfill their whims and fantasies… some idealistic vision of what a lover should be. Many people believe that they can hold on to their partner and make them stay. But this isn’t true. If your partner wants to go, they will. A lover is not an inanimate object – you can’t ‘hold on’ to them – they are human beings with free will and dreams and ideals of their own. What you can do is realize that each person seeks their own happiness. Sometimes it may be with you, at other times it may not. And if you still care for this person, the best you can do is allow them to follow their dreams. Gracefully step aside and wish them well. The right partner will come along for you one day.

The more you love a person; the more you care about him or her, the greater the feeling of being stabbed in the heart when they betray or cheat your love. Although the normal reaction to being dumped is to go ballistic and tell your lover what a piece of trash they are, your heart feels like a knife has sliced through it. This heart-pain is there because buried under your anger, there is love.

When our partner betrays our love, there are two immediate feelings – the part that feels cheated, and the part that still cares. On one hand we hate them for hurting us, and we want to hurt them back. On the other hand, we still have feelings for them, so just the thought of breaking up is hurting our soul. So what you need to realize is the deep stabbing pain you feel in your heart is not the pain of rejection, but the pain of trying to hate someone you love. Only when you can admit that you still care, and stop trying to hate them, the two parts dissolve and become one whole. The pain disappears.

If you want to find an ideal partner, you first have to BE an ideal partner. Give your partner first-class treatment – be infinitely patient, loving, and giving. This doesn’t mean you do not settle differences, but that you do it in a calm and gentle manner. Don’t be calculative about giving. Give with all your heart and trust that your partner appreciates the love you give. They will return it to you when you least expect it. Realize that some of your demands are idealistic and unnecessary, drop them or change them. And finally, strive to become the best you can be in mind, body, and spirit; socially, financially, and emotionally because the better you become as a person, the better a partner you will attract. 

Good luck and may you build the love life of your dreams.


True love is something that can happen no matter the circumstances of the situation. Whether you are a poor beggar boy chasing after the heart of a princess, a chivalrous and courageous Knight immensely in love with the queen that you’ve vowed protection to, or whether your families are hated enemies of one another, it is possible for love to take root and blossom. It also could be the simple attraction to what we cannot have, the forbidden. Regardless of the reason, love of these kinds has spawned off wonderful and inspirational stories. Stories about such couples as Aladdin, Sir Lancelot, Romeo and their lovely ladies have all helped to keep the dream alive. It is the dream that love, although forbidden, or seemly impossible, with great sacrifice is achievable.

“I can show you the world shining, shimmering, splendid. Tell me princess, when was the last time you let your heart decide?” Aladdin and Jasmine will forever be remembered by their magical carpet ride across the night sky, through the clouds, and over the lighted desert city of Agrabah. This Middle-Eastern based romance is only a cartoon, but it does illustrate clearly the aspect of forbidden love. Aladdin, a poor beggar boy from the streets of Agrabah, wished to prove to everyone that he was much more than what they thought he was, a “street rat.” One day, he helped a young girl in the market place and he began to fall in love with her, not realizing her true identity in the beginning. The young girl in actuality is none other than the princess of his kingdom, Princess Jasmine, and fortunately for him she returned his love. Although the princess could only wed a royal suitor, Aladdin believed that someday he would be able to have his princess. As luck would have it, a mysterious old man took him to the incredible Cave of Wonders, in search of a magical lamp. Aladdin used this lamp to free the genie inside. With the help of the genie, Aladdin was able to save his kingdom from impending doom. This act off goodness convinced the Sultan that Aladdin was a worthy suitor for his daughter Jasmine.

King, Queens, and Knights in shining armor are all that a great epic romance needs to be successful. One such story is that of Sir Lancelot and his love affair with the very queen he swore protection to, Queen Guinevere. Guinevere was the beloved queen of King Arthur, the founder of Camelot. As the champion of King Arthur and Queen Guinevere and premiere Knight of Arthur’s court, Lancelot was an unstoppable warrior. He almost never met defeat and quickly defeated all comers in or out of armor and regardless of the number of his foes. However, he was defeated, but only by the power of love. He was unable to control his love for the queen of Camelot and she returned his love, making it harder for either of them to deny it. They felt this love so strongly for each other they were willing to destroy all that King Arthur had worked for during his entire life, just so they could be together. Lancelot was Arthur’s best friend and most trusted knight, and Guinevere was his wife and his queen, yet they continued their relationship together. Camelot fell, as they knew it would, and feeling the guilt of it, Guinevere and Lancelot decided they must separate. Lancelot became a monk and lived as a penitent until his death, and Guinevere did nearly the same. She went to a nunnery spending the rest of her life in repentance and serving God, hoping for forgiveness for what she and Lancelot had done. An unfortunate end to such a romance, but a tragedy such as this immortalizes the tale for all of history and the days that precede it.

“Oh Romeo, Romeo. Wherefore art thou Romeo? Deny thy father and refuse thy name or if thou wilt not, be but sworn my love and I’ll no longer be a Capulet. `Tis only thy name that is my enemy. A rose by any other name would smell as sweet.” Romeo Montague and Juliet Capulet must be the most famous romantic couple of all time. Their love was forbidden by social status. Their families did more than not approve of their love for each other; the Montagues and the Capulets were archenemies. Even though centuries of hate ran through their blood, the love of their hearts cleansed the hatred with every beat. It is sad their lives would not last as long as their love. Romeo, hearing that Juliet was dead, went to see for himself and he found it to be true. He soon killed himself beside her body, not wanting to live another moment on this earth without his beloved Juliet. After he died Juliet awoke from her induced comatose-like sleep to find Romeo committed suicide because he thought she was really dead. Juliet, overwhelmed with remorse for causing the death of her lover, killed herself as well. Both Romeo and Juliet choose not to live life without the other.

These tales are only a few examples of forbidden love. It is not that clear whether any of these stories are fiction or non-fiction, but one thing is for certain, many people experience forbidden love like this. Love finds a way and with that thought, cannot be erased by laws or rules. It is the fabric that never fades, no matter how often it is washed in the waters of grief. Love is the power that motivates hope, and hope is what makes us live today as if tomorrow were yesterday. Aladdin and Jasmine, Sir Lancelot and Lady Guinevere, and Romeo and Juliet all saw this and chased their love and proved that even the most forbidden of loves is possible as long as they are willing sacrifice.


Love is euphoric. Love is enchanting. Love is heavenly. Love is captivating. And Love is something no one can describe. Love has to be felt, it cannot be explained. One cannot fall in love by planning; one just falls in love without realizing. That is love. And love also takes intelligence away like nothing can. In love, the most intelligent person may act foolishly, because love overwhelms.

What if you fall in romantic love? It is the beginning of your love and you have no thoughts in your mind except those of your darling. You are dreaming of making a home with her/him and living happily ever after. You are planning, discussing and dreaming. You are as much away from the reality of life as much as day is away from night. You get married. Your friends gather. Your family gathers. There is celebration. The couple looks great. They look to be in so much love with each other. You feel like the luckiest person on the earth. And then you announce divorce after a year. Why?

You never allowed your intelligence any role in your decision to marry. You never thought of what marriage means. You never faced the reality of staying together. If she is north, you are south, and if he loves literature, you love outdoors. Both of you knew about the differences, but both of you ignored them. You never gave attention to them. And some one pointed out the differences and asks you to rethink; he/she was out of your list of friends. But the final outcome was shattering. No divorce ever gives peace and fulfillment.

Please fall in love. Please experience the high of love, real passionate love. And please ask your intelligence few questions before deciding to spend life together. Are we suitable for each other? Are our habits similar? Will we give comfort to each other? Are our expectations real and will they get fulfilled? Are we fit to marry each other? Will our love last? Let intelligence play a role along with your love and then decide. You will never have to announce divorce. You will live happily together forever, because you have made a conscious decision after finding out everything.